from Andy

instead of reconstructing my thoughts, I just copy and pasted a journal entry...

Iowa to Alabama

I flew in to Omaha at 5pm yesterday, and got to our home in Orange City a couple hours later. I was thankful that everything was still in one piece. I think a neighbor has even been cutting the grass for us. The packers come tomorrow to box everything up, and then the movers come on Thursday to load up the truck. It’s a little sad to know that this is no longer going to be our home. Addy’s very first days in this world, were in this house. Her first steps were taken here. Conner’s personality came to life while living here. His very first year of school was started here as well. And Molly and I, probably due to the fact that we were so far away from family and our church, grew closer here. We began to see how much we depended on each other, as well as cared for each other.

At times I wonder if I am making the right choices in life. I try to tell myself that everything I’m doing is for my family… to feed them, to provide shelter for them, to teach them, and so forth. But then I think if I was really doing what was best for them, if I was really trying to put them first in life, would I still be moving them to the other side of the country.

We all come into this world with nothing, and then thru time are taught how to acquire. Either from an entrepreneurial stand point, or the old-fashioned ‘working your way up’ approach, one usually provides the means necessary to acquire more things in life. But sometimes, I think individuals lose sight of what’s really important… they’re always looking for the next step in life… whether it be a better job, higher salary or a bigger house, they’re always looking for ‘more’, and doing so while neglecting what’s right in front of them. And then at retirement, or soon after, those same people are looking back at their life with grandchildren and great grandchildren, and reflecting, not on how much money they made, or what stuff had been acquired throughout their life, but rather the memories they had…good times and bad.

It’s not that I’m not excited for my promotion or the new area we’re moving to. And I am grateful to still be able to provide my family and put a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. But when Molly agreed to marry me, she put her trust in me. She trusted that I would be there for her and our family. She trusted that I would always be compelled to make the right decisions. And she trusted that I would bring our dreams into reality. But I just wonder if maybe, just maybe, I’m chasing the wrong dream…